The reason why Ancient Greek male statues are depicted with small penises is because they were symbolic to the ideals of male beauty at that time; youthfulness, strength and modesty. Large penises were considered to be vulgar and were associated with savages and evil spirits.

Naked ambition: when the Greeks first stripped off

The oddity of ancient sculpture often escapes us. A male nude, a Greek statue, has become very familiar over the past 2,500 years: it is what we expect of ancient statuary, that it show off its muscles. At times it can seem overly familiar, a bit tacky or tawdry or maybe just banal, evoking the withdrawing room of an aesthete of the 1890s, a gay sauna in the 1970s or the yard at the back of a modern garden centre alongside the blue-glazed planters and bird baths.

The Uffizi in Florence was once most famous for its collection of classical sculptures, but who now spends much time looking at them as they barge past to the Botticellis? If you find the crowds around the Hieronymus Bosches too much in the Prado, seek out the cul-de-sac where … Continue Reading (9 minute read)

11 thoughts on “The reason why Ancient Greek male statues are depicted with small penises is because they were symbolic to the ideals of male beauty at that time; youthfulness, strength and modesty. Large penises were considered to be vulgar and were associated with savages and evil spirits.”

  1. inb4trololol

    So of you’re a grower not a shower, does that make you “Greek in the streets and vulgar in the sheets?”

  2. skintight_tommy

    I know where i’m going if they ever invent time travel

  3. BreakfastBeerz

    Small… umm…. yeah…. I definitely think they are small too.

  4. NotTheBelt

    Was there ever a point in history where it was right in the middle? Not too big, not too small, just average will do, like some sorta goldicocks zone?

  5. cgerrells

    So a sculpture garden with huge penises would be a Savage Garden.

  6. ribblesquat

    Just imagine a teenage Greek boy sitting slumped over and moping because his penis is too large. He wants to get closer to Alexandra and hopefully make love to her but he’s terrified of what she will say when she sees his *massive* dong.

  7. GroovinWithAPict

    Uhhh, not small, normal-sized…

  8. HoldenDowndefort

    Can we also be thankful that the penis’ in classical sculpture and paintings are always depicted as flaccid.

    Imagine if today’s silly idea of a hard veiny cock making for a good dick pic was always true and every important and famous painting depicted men in battle with raging boners.

  9. baker2002

    Wait those look pretty proportional!?!? Unless I’m just that sm……

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